#i know he didnt do it intentionally but WOW!

[kings-highway]

some safe-for-work headcanons regarding how they might of gone about having sex for the first time for some of my favouritr haikyuu ships:

daisuga: look you know these bitches had it scheduled. not like a meticulous planned thing, but it was definitely something they knew was going to happen in advance. Like they talked about it, agreed they both wanted it, and then 3 weeks later Suga's parents go away for the weekend and they know like a solid week in advance that their "hang out" on Saturday evening is basically exclusively so they can have sex. They're very prepared. This also probably makes that week of training super annoying for the team bc they cant figure out why their captains are being SO overly giggly like you are seventeen/eighteen year old men wtf is going on.

iwaoi: i've always thought they were probably way more nervous than any of their friends assumed and definitely did not have sex as early as people thought. like mattsun and makki both constantly tease them in a way that insinuates they're actively having sex but they probably didnt actually do it until like... the last few months of high school. They were both just nervous! Iwa was very afraid of rushing things and doing it "wrong," and Oikawa wasnt even sure what doing it "right" would be so they had like 6 false-starts before they actually managed it.

ushiten: dorm living is not condusive to intimacy so when for the first time in like 8 months since they started dating that they have a confirmed evening with a locked dorm alone they end up making out for just a crazy amount of time. Tendou is too nervous to actually move anything forward because he's too anxious over the possibility of rejection but he keeps making these weird half-insinuations like "haha I cant believe nobody's going to be back for another four hours... we could do anything and get away with it... isnt that so funny... like nobody would know if we were making out or having sex or just reading a book... haha... isnt that crazy... me and you..." and he's all weird and twitchy about it until Ushijima tells him he doesn't think the idea of them having sex is crazy at all and then it is on immediately.

kuroken: highkey, kuroo probably lays out like a whole romantic, corny ass evening with candles and rose petals and is prepared to have a whole long conversation about being "ready" and Kenma just sort of rolls his eyes and is like "have you finished talking? this is Too Much. I need you to understand this is Too Much. Oh my god I love you but WOW." (it works anyway and Kenma is sufficient wooed).

tsukkiyama: this one might be a little out there but I genuinely think they're the most likely to have it happen by accident, or in a spontaneous moment of opportunity. Like they both intend to just take advantage of the empty house with only a bit of making out and then suddenly they're losing their clothes and it's like "we'll have a conversation about it tomorrow, im sure."

kagehina: okay this one is more stupid but I imagine after they've been dating a while Hinata is like "you know what, im ready to take the next step" but Kageyama cannot read ppl so Hinata's somewhat obvious attempts at seduction go entirely over his head, and Hinata is getting increasingly frustrated and dramatic and trying really really hard to get Kageyama to realize what he wants and it ends up causing a fight between them because Kageyama thinks Hinata is being weird and Hinata thinks Kageyama is being intentionally distant and eventually Kageyama blows up and is like "Oh my god if you want to break up or something just say so!!!" and Hinata is like "Oh my GOD I dont want to break up with you I want to have sex with you!!!" and of course that shuts everyone up and unfortunately Yachi is probably also there and wants to die.

[insidejiaqi]

Sex for grades (kind of)

was not particularly the smartest girl in school in university. so i had to do what it takes to graduate

————————————

i studied computer science in university. looking back, probably not the best choice for a dumb bitch like me. chose it cuz my friends chose it too. and the bunch of nerds around me were just not it. creeps everywhere.

in my first sem, there was this particular project based mod and i could not understand anything the prof was saying. whats worse was my coding skills were close to non existent and my group mates were all experienced code monkeys.

i could tell my project mates were slowly getting fed up with me. they would assign me tasks that i would take so long to complete they end up just doing it for me. but i do try okayyyyy.

one night i was determined to contribute something. so i stayed late in school to work on one of the tasks assigned to me. i convinced one of my project mates to stay with me. he was the kind of an awkward looking nerd that wears specs. the only woman he ever talked to was probably his mom.

while i was trying to do my task, i would consistently rant out loud about how hard it is and why i keep getting errors. he heard me and came to sit beside me to explain the problems i had.

i leaned in to point at my laptop screen, acting like i was listening and got my boobs caressing his arm intentionally. i know he felt it as he suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. i could see his bulge starting to form. he carried on explaining the issues with my code but i wasnt even listening.

tbh, the plan was never for me to actually finish it. i just dont want to get complained for not contributing :)

"how about i do this and you do this for me?" i stretched out my arm to grab the big bulge in his pants.

he gave me the blank stare.

"come on, you do what youre good at, and i do what im good at. no one suffers"

"errrr"

i got on my knees under the table and started undoing his pants. it was just us there. i pulled out his dick and to my surprise, it was about 5 inches. for a nerd like him, his dick size was surprising.

"stop looking and keep typing"

he immediately looked up and continued working on my task.

I slowly pulled back his forskin to expose the dickhead and my warm saliva drip down on his sensitive virgin dick. he involuntarily moaned and squirmed as i started stroking, coating his dick with my saliva.

"fuck jiaqi, your hands feel amazing!"

"shhhh. less talking, more typing"

I leaned in to lick the head as i continued stoking. he kept moaning and the typing did not stop. without warning, his hands came under the table and forced my mouth into his dick.

"ohh fuck yesss jiaqii. i always imagined you as a naughty dumb slut. jerking off to your pictures when we were first grouped together. never thought it could be real. and now fucking your mouth feels 1000 times better. fuckkkk"

he held my head down for a good 10 seconds while he exposes dirtiest fantasies to me.

"now get up and let me fuck you over the table" he pulled me up by my hair and bent me over bent me over the table. he lifted my skirt and saw that i was not wearing any panties.

"wow seems like this was you end goal since the beginning huh. wanting that pussy filled quickly so you didnt wear panties?"

"nuuu..." he jabbed his dick into me before i could reply and started thrusting in and out.

"fuck you little dumb slut. its okay. i will do your homework for you if you continue being a good little cock sleeve. now call me daddy"

"yes daddyy... fuckkkkkk ughhh"

the thrusting continued as he added a few loud spanks on my ass as if it was not a public place. he was still an inexperienced nerd and just 2mins later he pulled out and shot his ropes on my ass and sat back down on the chair panting.

"heheh how does it feel to lose your virginity?"

"tiring... how was it for you?"

"heheh here is lesson 2. dont ask a girl that."

he was still trying to catch his breath while i started packing my bag.

"now get that task done for me alright? its due tomorrow", i whispered in his ear before leaving.

"yea sure dont worry about it."

I went home and when i arrived home, i got a text containing all the files required to complete the task.

from then on, he helped me do my work for the rest of the sem and i got an A. heheh

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Appreciate yall for reading my sexual recounts. Writing it gets me turned on as well. If you liked it, do give it a like and reblog!

Follow me on twitter at @jiaqi2602 for short snippets and uncensored content.

Till next time!

[bittersnsweetz]

ohhh my god i just realised why i love narumitsu so much, despite the obvious (mutual pining, slow burn, one-sided enemies, to friends, to distant friends, to close friends, to lovers all that good stuff)

its BECAUSE they have a shared emotional journey that is so narratively satisfying to me that as im typing this im barely able to contain my stimming

phoenix defends miles, so convinced he can save him and is almost blinded by that fact because he knows edgeworth as so good and so pure and he totally definitely absolutely would never willingly hurt anybody and then he ghosts him for a year which phoenix obviously interprets as yet another person abandoning him, leaving phoenix to pick up the pieces, and that whole time phoenix is beating himself up because wow this is just like when he put all his love on the line for dahlia and it turns out she was just using him this whole time and the absolute mess of emotions that arises when edgeworth comes back, alive, with no apology whatsoever.

and then two years later phoenix loses his job and edegworth is trying so hard to help and be there for him while also juggling his prosecutor job and the challenges that arise from adjusting to a new justice-driven mindset, but phoenix is already closing himself off and refusing to talk about it because hes stingy and secretive and edgeworth has seen the stingy in passing but never to this extent, where he can tell that phoenix NEEDS someone but apparently that someone isnt going to be him. and he's on call with him one night and he hears trucy for the first time and hes mortified because so many complicated emotions and questions arise from that alone: "wright are you sane" "wright are you seeing someone" "wright why didnt you tell me about this so i could help you" and i do think edgeworth gets overwhelmed by all this at once, the secrecy, the daughter, the friend who visits phoenix every now and again, the lack of healthy communication. and suddenly everything that he thought theyve worked so hard to build together has come crashing down and theres nothing phoenix will let him do to help

and its the shared parallel of the initial proposal to help "let me defend you"/"let me be there for you" being completely rejected and the repeated efforts to do so being met with a sudden shift (prosecutor miles edgeworth chooses death/i have a daughter and a new friend who helps me now) and how its so difficult for the both of them to realise at the time that its for their sake that they're doing it, that neither of them are doing this to hurt the other intentionally (although for phoenix i definitely think theres spite involved, but not to the degree to which edgeworth ends up experiencing what he does emotionally), and the idealisation that gets completely shattered by reality

just. UGH. the full circle that is them, after everything is said and done, finding closure in each other again, however non-linear that journey is, and, this is important, CHOOSING to still stay with the other through anything and everything that comes to pass, and truly SEEING the other behind their professional masks. Seeing them entirely and not just the attractive parts. im rabid.

[qui-gg]

opinion on the bog ii 🤖🤖🤖

I’ll assume you mean bot and answer accordingly

(Drops art i havent shared and wasnt really planning to. But its appropriate for the things ill talk about yay)

Fun fact i didn’t really have a strong opinion of bots character for a while but then one day i woke up and went “I have an idea for a gjinka” and it caused me to get into their character and now its like my fav gjinka to draw

(Some fun facts about that gjinka design: their head is completely magnetic, and their “hair” is a set of completely removable accessories so their natural state is bald, they can add as much or as little as they want. Also they continue to wear a little pink because i was thinking of the “I can still like chocolate cake” line- they can still like pink too)

I LOVE BOT. Even though i have thoughts and opinions about the iffy nature they were implemented overall i love the concept of a character who was made to be someone else and theyve given me a lot to chew on which i appreciate with a character. What really fascinates me about them is how their interactions with other characters play out so id like to talk more about that⬇️

Their relationship with Cabby was what caused me to create the gjinka design in the first place, and then I found a song that made me think of them and i was like Wow. Bot and cabby’s initial impressions of one another being somewhat at odds due to miscommunication but ultimately other factors (cabby’s disability and bot’s suppression of their fake memory- wow they both have memory issues!) was something that lasted a while but then iii14 saw the end of bot’s assumptions of her being strained when they finally had the chance to actually talk with one another. Bot assumed that Cabby was obsessed with finding a way to explain their existence and identity which they very much felt didn’t need an explanation for who they were, but they realized this is only the way cabby processes the world around her they both place importance on identity both with not knowing their pasts and carving a way for their futures the way they are and they can do it together agh i love ittt

Here my gjinkas of them with an outfit styleswap

One day i kind of started placing suitcase in bots position to cabby though and i just think about their potential relationship primarily now though LMAO but thats unrelated

With fan and test tube I had stronger opinions about how the circumstances/reasons behind creating them weren’t strong enough and it caused both of their characters to backslide from where they were in ii14 but now i like to look at it and take what i can get from it because i like it when characters do bad and questionable things its interesting to analyze why they did something so selfish. In fan’s case he didnt have a strong connection with bow’s death when it happened beyond being a fan of her bc of his low empathy at the time especially he didnt process it as Death, and he believes he knows everything about bow as the number1 fan so now hes the best person for the job, and test tube coldly decides to recreate the image of a person under the idea shes now using her strengths for a good cause, but shes wrong and she has to learn shes wrong. Theyre not bot’s parents- but it’s easiest for them to describe them that way, since they created them, but that’s not quite how their relationship is at all. Bot has no real familial ties with them, and test tube created them with the sold intention of being somebody other than they are, so that’s always going to stick with them and theyre not just a blindly happy family now. Bot is also a grown adult that doesnt just go away they shouldn’t be infantilized so much. They can be friends with fan and test tube because they now recognize them as Bot but honestly theyd prefer keeping a distance when they can because they wish they were made intentionally or were just a person, but they appreciate being created. Its a pretty unique situation

What really fascinates me the most though is the concepts of how they are in relation to Bow, with the concept of being created as a replication of someone who already exists being so terrifying for both involved. In Bot’s perspective, their conscious is being repressed intentionally to continue living someone else’s life who they never even knew and doesnt identify with. And everyone is acting like its fine and okay when theyre the only one who seems to see how scary this is. They just struggle to grasp with their very existence with the only thing to guide them being a paragraph of a character description and to spew references that dont make sense. In BOWS perspective, she was a celebrity and the most popular contestant in the first season of a reality show, and even after dying on it the fans just screamed for her to “come back” though it was impossible. So her likeness kept getting replicated by both the show (doughs inclusion) and fans (bots creation) who both misrepresented her and she could do nothing but watch it play out. Her death was being denied and other people were living her life just because she was popular on a show, it’s terrifying. Terrifying and despair inducing for both of them theyd both have a disdain for one another on an existential degree, and bot finding their identity is freeing for both of them.

Lifetime achievement award made me insane abt this thanks panks

:D ive talked long enough so thanks for reading this far if you made ittt ! More art

[neptune-scythe]

deleted and rewording my previous post since most people totally missed my point and didn't like my wording ... which i worded it very intentionally to be disruptive and make you go "oh damn i never thought of that that's awful wow" instead of the general reaction of "oh damn i never thought of that and i'm never going to think about that and you're awful for mentioning it"

so here goes

something that the show and, from what i've seen, the fandom as well have glossed over is the effect killing Doug would have on Maddie. yes she absolutely made the right choice in that moment and was incredibly brave for doing so and she knows that. but that doesn't take away from what the action of taking a life has on ones mind.

no one can ever be 100% certain about anything, especially something huge and traumatic like that, so there will probably always be some part of her, however tiny and minuscule that wonders if that really was the only option, or if it's not somehow a reflection of who she is as a person ... which her conscious mind will know these thoughts aren't truth, that she made the best decision she could and that she only did what she had to do to survive ... and that Doug was the one who made that situation absolute, that it was either kill or be killed for both of them.

But we've even seen her see herself as a danger and a threat to the people she loves (running away after Jee slipped under the water because Maddie didn't think it was safe for her to be around her daughter anymore), and while that is a common enough symptom of depression to feel/think that way, it could also be in part to the fact that she'd killed Doug.

Objectively the situations are vastly different, but trauma has a way of skewing objectivity and defying logic and rationality but making just enough sense that you can't quite seem to dismiss it.

And add onto that the fact that Maddie was blamed for literally everything for her entire marriage, and even in childhood to a certain extent (her parents immediately saying "what did you do to him" when Buck crashed his bike) and the kind of guilt that burrows deep inside you because of that. Even just before she killed Doug he was blaming her for "forcing him to stab Chimney", for pushing him to kill the gas station worker and for hurting her. She's known nothing but blame and guilt for years.

And while yes by that time she's healed some from that and realized that it isn't her fault, especially the people he killed or tried to kill, but that doesn't mean she can just dismiss it, especially so soon after leaving him and breaking free of that abuse.

but per the point of my previous post that I deleted

the show really only mentioned the effects of that in the one episode and only in three comments, "everything gets worse for you if he dies", "I killed someone I used to love, I'll never be free of that", "I just really needed to talk about how i really feel about killing my husbasnd", and then just ... didn't mention it ever again.

but that kind of trauma doesn't just go away, and while yes by now she's healed and overcome that and is living her life and thriving with her family, that doesn't mean the trauma is just magically gone. healing is not linear, and that is something I notice fandom spaces don't like the idea of generally. the concept that a healed character might still get triggered or experience doubts or fears caused by that trauma. and that's something that I think we should be talking about more instead of the seemingly majority view that healing means the trauma is magically gone and will never effect you ever again.

but to circle back to the original post

it was about the idea that sometimes that doubt and fear ... that trauma, might come back, it might tell Maddie that she didnt act out of self defense, that she's just a killer... and that she might kill Chimney too. which obviously we can all agree is something that is completely false, but trauma has a way of getting inside your brain and gaslighting you, making you doubt everything you thought you knew, it may very well make her doubt the intention of her actions, or make her wonder if that action was really a reflection of who she is as a person deep down.

which again, obviously is entirely false, she was absolutely justified in her actions and it was showing her bravery and tenacity and strength, not making her a horrible or dangerous person. and definitely not some kind of omen or fate that she's trapped in

but her mind ... her trauma, might tell her it is. and she might almost believe it

maybe that was part of why she went to the ocean, and why she left for Boston, because her trauma told her she'd killed Doug and now she'd almost killed her daughter, and that was a pattern, and a sign of her true self ... and maybe she believed it. In the state she was in mentally it would be very hard to challenge that thought, to remind herself that it wasn't true.

especially given she's struggled with depression since the age of 9 or 10, and never had a safe space or the tools to process the loss of her brother, and then basically having to raise Buck while still being a child herself, and going right from that into an abusive marriage. she's been in survival mode pretty much her entire life, struggling with grief and guilt and trauma that she never had the chance to actually work through and process until after she left Doug, which makes fighting the lies her traumas tell her all the more challenging

but the point of the post was yes we all praise and talk about how strong and courageous and brave she is for going through all the horrible things she has and moving on and thriving and living her life, and we all want to see her continue to thrive and be happy and healthy and living the best life she can

but that trauma is a part of her, the messy aftermath of that is still a part of her and to a certain extent probably always will be, and denying that is denying a huge part of her as a person. and that doesn't take away from her strength at all or mean that she hasn't healed. it just means she's a human who has been through some awful circumstances that she didn't deserve and she came out the other side and is refusing to let it ruin her, but it will always be a part of her, that trauma, no matter how healed she is, and that's okay. because she has healed, she is healing, she's moving on and living her life. and she deserves every bit of that and more.

but I think the messy sides of trauma, the doubts and irrational fears and straight up lies it makes one believe is just as worthy of talking about as the perseverance and strength of overcoming that trauma. the type of things that are taboo, the things that people told me were disgusting to even think about, they are real things that real people experience and there is no reason why it should be such an awful impossible concept to believe that a person might doubt themselves and have their mind and traumas tell them horrible lies about themselves. such is life, such is the human experience, the traumatized experience. and it deserves talking about

[renzieluvsvt]

start of something new

pairing: jeonghan x fem!reader

genre: angst (at the end of jeonghan), fluff

summary: an act of your past bully in the present day touches your heart. who knew the reason why he bullied you during your school years was simply because you had hurt his ego by making him fall for you during the middle school.

a/n: college!au, jeonghan is an arrogant rich ass whereas the reader is from the middle class which is why the "ego" has been mentioned

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it was your second day of your menstruation cycle. you just came for the class in your uni, ignoring the cramps you had. you thought you were strong enough to bear the mild cramps but who knew it would get worst once you reached your uni. you decided to remain for the classes as you only had three classes but you regretted choosing to wear a short shirt over jeans which just ended over your waistline. everything pissed you off.

after the third class ended, wen and yuki, your two best friends, left the class before you as you had some work and they had their fourth class. they insisted on waiting for you and to drop you till the gate knowing how unwell you were but you knew you would take longer time than usual to pack your stuff. "y/n" as you were the last one to walk out of the class it took you by surprise when someone called out for you.

you turned to see the owner of the voice and you were met with the eyes of a familiar person. you didn't like him at all. yuck. why? simply because he was yoon jeonghan. your middle school bully. he never changed even after that. you didnt understand why. once when you asked him the reason, he just flicked your forehead and said "because you are y/n" what? so basically according to him, it was a sin for you to be you? like wow. but what you didnt know about was how he had a tiny crush on you since the middle school! he liked you since the day he saw you in a pretty lavender frock with two ponytails on some school ocassion. your middle school self who was too busy being embarrassed, didn't know that you had a batchmate of yours fall for you. but jeonghan wasnt less. he couldnt believe that his 'rich superior self' could fall for anyone especially someone like you for such a mere thing like two ponytails and a lavender frock. 'what could be so likeable about it?' he asked himself and turned to look at you again but he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw you giggling with your friends. he was sure he fell for you. he knew you were a threat to his little ego that was why he bothered you even in the high school by keeping your diary where you had mentioned about your crush on joshua, the new exchange student. he blackmailed you and made you do all of his homework and projects. you did like him too in the starting of the middle school but all of his merciless acts and attitude helped you to overcome this feeling. his tomenting continued until one day.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

"oi y/n" you knew this voice brought you trouble. you avoided him intentionally and walk passed in the corridor.

"ayy josh~ how have you been?" it stopped you on your feet. "you know josh i had this tea about someo-"

"jeonghan!!" you ran to him and stepped on his foot intentionally when you decreased your speed. "ouch fuc-" "jeonghan, i finally found the material to help you with the project lets go. hi josh" after that you pulled him to your class. you hit him on his shoulder and asked him whats wrong with him suddenly. "you know it well that i have two projects due so i wa-" you cut him off, "so i wasnt wrong about you needing help in the projects." "yes y/n, so please do the needful. i will send you the details later" he was just about to open the door and leave when you held onto his arm desperately. too desperately. "what the hell do you wa-" he turned all frustrated but when he realised how closed you were to him he couldnt continue his sentence. you held on to his arm too tightly that he could feel your breast. you were too oblivious because all you wanted was to free yourself from the double work. "jeonghan please i have my work to do too. i have two projects too. how do you expect me to complete four projects by tomorrow morning?" you speak out in a soft tone to get his pity. but he didn't listen to any of your words properly because he was too flushed out with the distance between you two. seeing you on your toes while holding onto his arms tightly and begging him did something to him. he was sure that he turned all red but wasnt sure if you saw that. reality clicked and he swayed your hands away from his arm. "shutupjustdowhatwastold" he spoke rapidly then rushed out of the class. you couldn't understand what made him speak like that but all you knew was you had to buy alot of caffeine for tonight.

(the next day)

you went to the school with an extreme headache. you knew that it was all because of the caffeine you consumed when you pulled an all nighter last night to complete four projects. you went to the school because you had to submit your projects. the teacher was too cruel for not letting you submit your project through your friends.

"ayy y/n" said jeonghan, "are you done with my project?" you handed over his projects. he called you in the class during the break, when there was no one so that he couldnt be caught. "what is wrong with the fonts? such a poor taste" "shut up" you tried to fight back. "i guess i should really consider again whether to make you do my work..." he ranted on his own while everything started to be vague to you. and then you blacked out.

"y/n!" he caught you. jeonghan panicked. "oi y/n" he then carried you down to the medical room. "what is wrong with y/n?" asked the teacher. "she just blacked out" "please lay her down on the bed" requested the teacher before she left. as he was laying you down on the bed, his chain got stuck on your sweater lessening the distance between you two. he looked at you and got too flushed out again. he found you too pretty even with your eyes shut. he then speedily detached his chain from your sweater and sat on a nearby bench. the teacher entered the medical room. as jeonghan watched the teacher treat you, guilt rushed over him. he knew it was all because of him ordering you around to complete his projects. he knew you must have not slept a single bit. he couldn't even face your sleeping figure. "i'll be back teacher" said jeonghan and went out of the room.

after you gained consciousness, the teacher greeted you with a smile. "hi y/n how are you feeling now?" "better" you tried to lift yourself when you felt a hand stopping you on your shoulder. "just lay down y/n" it was jeonghan. "your boyfriend must be really worried about you miss" you grossed out at the idea. as you were about to defend yourself he cut you off by agreeing. "yes teacher i couldnt help but care for her" he said while he caressed your head. you gave out a shocked expression to him and the teacher. "i'll leave the both of you alone then", the teacher giggled and left.

"what the fuck jeonghan!? my boyfriend? really? you really had to agree with her?" you spoke out angrily. "why? would you have loved it if it was josh and not me?" he asked. "yes ofcourse!" you answered too soon for his liking. it hurt him somehow. "anyways that's not important. i would like to apologise and thank you for everything you have done till day. be happy that im leaving you free now" he said as he handed you over your diary. "what really!?" you sit on the bed all excited. "yes" he agreed. "now take care" he left soon after he spoke those words. "eh? what's wrong with him now" you asked yourself. you didn't understand how he became so merciful but all you knew was that you were free from all the double works now.

jeonghan avoided you since that day. you simply didn't care though and that hurt jeonghan more. even after the high school ended, jeonghan couldn't get you off his mind. maybe he truly loved spending time with you no matter how it was spent or maybe he just loved you for real. maybe yes it was love or else it wouldnt have been too hard for him to move on. even though he dated many to distract himself from you yet your memories with him always had a place in his heart. he still wished for you to be his but he knew you didn't see him the same way.

he saw you date joshua. he saw you breaking up with him. he saw you all heartbroken. all of this broke him too because he knew you deserved better. because he knew he could treat you better. alot better than anyone. he knew that he could love you better than anyone else. he knew how loved he could make you feel yet you were a blind eye to him and his feelings.

when the first year of uni started, he felt mixed emotions to see you in the same class. you saw him too but never approached him because you didn't like him for the times he troubled you. also you felt it would be awkward between you two. jeonghan's heart ached even more on realising it.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

(present day)

jeonghan took a step closer to you and took you into the empty class by your wrist which got you confused and quite pissed as it gave you a deja vu. you looked at him with mixed emotions of confusion and agitation. he suddenly then removed his shirt and wrapped it around your waist. it caught you off guard. "jeong-" "there's a stain" he cut you off. it didnt take you time to realise what he was talking about. "ah-" you were too embarrased. "um thank you so much" you thanked him. "nevermind, forget about it" he said to ease you. you realised he wasnt that jerk anymore who would laugh on the situation or on your embarrassed face. his act touched your heart.

"how have you been tho?" you asked him. "ow me? im all fine. how about you tho? its been years i havent spoken to you" he replied. he couldn't believe it that he was finally facing you. he realised that you were even more prettier now. "im obviously not fine right now but thanks to you once again for today. i see that you arent the same old jeonghan now" you said while hitting him on his shoulders in a teasing manner.

"if you really are thankful then treat me with a cup of coffee" he said with that sly smirk of his. 'okay he isnt that changed' you thought to yourself. but something inside you felt glad to talk to someone you knew way back before. someone you liked as a kid. "are you asking me out?" you teased back. he got all red. you saw it this time. "oh- you really are asking me out?" you asked him again in disbelief. "yes" jeonghan said. you didnt mind it and you knew this was a start of something new. "okay then" you said.

[sketching-shark]

Me ghink theres lot of hate towards tang sanzang some of which IS UNDERSTANDABLE

But alot of it goes too far and say the most rancid shit ever all bc hes book character. Mind ya hes based on actual person and is being use his likeness. Like some lmk fans be saying the worse thing ever towards this guy(for example wanting him get the d*ath penalty n amongst others).

We forgetting that yes some of his treatment towards swk IS horrible but we tends to forget swk had done some atrocious things that sanzang was witness to in full view. No human would journey like that without being completely scar and traumatized. Some of my friends while looking through the book had found that sanzang be using the circlet all in one go and then never used it in years.

His character development does happen yall in where he do trust his companion more and then *insert traumatizing moment* happen. I do think wukong didnt deserves the maltreatment tho(i want to say this bc later i get ppl saying that i support ab*se bc i defend sanzang for a bit, not knowing that i also disagreed w some his actions)

Most ppl forget that the first arc that the gang actually face as a group was the gingseng tree arc, not white bone spirit.that u have him defending wukong and countless other times where he do trust swk judgement in some cases. (i just wanted to get it out there since not many ppl realize it n im fully blaming osp for this bc they are skipping arcs. N they don’t really tell what arcs they’re skipping)

This just me rambling but dam all these ppl need therapy.

THEY'RE SAYING WHAT NOW ANON AAAAAAAAAAA but haha wow on a lighter note that is kind of funny that the fandom which routinely portrays the Six-Eared "I am going to try to murder-replace you for completely selfish reasons / repeatedly try to kill a young mortal that you love" Macaque as a monkey who never did anything wrong ever would then go out its way to demonize Tang "I do lash out & often don't trust my senior disciple but have also been threatened with death for fourteen years" Sanzang. Like geez I've seen many another fandom where the assumption is that for one character to be good/be "redeemed" you need to make another character horrible (tbh I'm starting to suspect that that's what's happening with the lego show version of Sun Wukong & the Six-Eared Macaque), but wild if true that some lmk fans would go THAT far in the attempt to paint the monk as a guy so awful that he literally deserves the death penalty.

Now to be fair it does need to be noted that even in Wu Cheng'en's classic (or at least from what I've seen in the Anthony C. Yu translation), Tang Sanzang was in many ways intentionally written as a caricature of a fussy Confucian scholar who may have memorized many doctrines but who doesn't really understand them, and who is often made a figure of fun for falling off his horse, and who does use the headband against Sun Wukong is some very explicitly painful and unjust scenes. In at least the book he's also a much more static character than the Monkey King in that we don't see any real changes in his thoughts or behavior over the course of the journey, which I can see as a something that would sour many against him. THAT SAID, you are very correct anon in noting that besides one traumatizing event after another happening to him, from his mother's suicide to constantly being threatened with death and/or rape at the hands of many yaoguai, this monk does have a number of reasons for why he's constantly crying and acting with hatred and suspicion towards the Monkey King. And let's not forget that one of the things SWK told Tang Sanzang early on in the journey was that he had literally killed so many he couldn't remember them all, and that was right before he tried to kill the monk himself! Point being that yes both Tang Sanzang and Sun Wukong are extremely flawed individuals who often clashed with each other in some pretty upsetting ways, but there's also many understandable reasons for why they act the way they do. It's a real disservice to their characters and the underlying implications of the journey (or its retellings tbh) to forget or ignore that! *

*(and on THAT note this is another reason why it's kind of frustrating that the Overly Sarcastic Production & Monkie Kid retellings of Xiyouji seem to be the primary ways that western audiences are understanding the journey. Liking explicitly cartoony retellings is one thing. But then basing all your knowledge of the work on these retellings and/or even outright refusing to understand the classic in any other context makes for some really simplified and even really insulting beliefs about a culturally important work as a whole)

[wizisbored]

Hey so I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed chapter 15 of Netherborne! Your world building is incredible and it really showed in this chapter. You write a very blunt and realistic depiction of (wow, this is weird to say) slavery. I could feel both Lydia and Jock’s quiet resignation to their fates and the new girls’ fear through the screen. Your world building really shines in the details. Something that stood out to me is when the demon who handled them asked about and then demanded that Skye get her pacemaker back. I wouldn’t have thought a demon would know—much less give a shit about—her pacemaker, but I guess so long as it helps her work…

It does make me wonder though, what happens if a captured human is too sick to work? Would they be yeeted back to the human realm, or…?

(I definitely should have said this in my comment but it didn’t occur to me at the time 😭)

ive gotten a fair few comments on my worldbuilding ability at this point and theyre always a pleasant suprise because its not something i do intentionally, or am generally even aware im doing. i just really love getting into the detail and the logic of things and it turns out people enjoy when i do that. i actually started brainstorming and writing snippets of this chapter at least two years ago, because after the amount of times slave auctions had been brought up i wanted to actually write one rather than have them just be this threatening concept, and then figured out a way it could be very helpful to the plot (that aspect will come in next chapter ;) ). on top of that im hoping it can give a kinda secondhand understanding to that aspect of emily's backstory, because i decided near the start that i will never write a flashback from her perspective. we only get the surviving character's perspective of her, hence the paragraph in this chapter where lydia wonders if her mother was this scared.

about that demon - a lot of those snippets i wrote two years ago actually didnt get used because i changed his character pretty significantly. he was originally a lot harsher and rougher, but it just felt gratuitous. he spoke like a cartoon villain rather than someone doing a job hes done a hundred times already. in the fics world slavery and slave auctions are normal and everyday, just how the system is. this demon is not an exceptionally evil villain, as far as this world's demons go. hes just some guy, because being a slaver is just kinda the baseline in this setting.

anyway, onto what you actually asked about - this demon, unlike ogrien, actually knows his stuff. hes had a lot of practice conducting what are essentially condensed basic medical exams, and hes read up on potential problems and their impact. frankly, he knows a small child with a stress-triggered heart condition is likely to not survive the auction. theres no point withholding something that could prevent that. its not so much about helping her work than it is keeping her alive long enough to sell, because hes not expecting anyone to buy her with the intention of keeping her alive long.

so that brings us to your last question and to put it frankly, they'll die. bloodsport or the large carnivorous creatures that some demons keep or a combination of both.

[quodekash]

oh wow look i wrote more fluffy guynawa dot points for the sake of my sanity

guynawa had a date planned for one day

nawa wakes up that day and he’s sick

text from guy: asshole where are you

text from nawa: im sick :(

guy blatantly refuses to go to nawa’s house and get him medicine and be all domestic boyfriendy and makes excuses like “I don’t want to get sick” etc etc

and nawa’s all grumpy like “but kang told me all about how nice you were to sailom when HE was sick, and IM your boyfriend”

guy’s response: exactly, he’s my friend and you’re not

nawa says something pretending to be offended

guy: what, would you PREFER us to be friends?

nawa, intentionally antagonising guy: yes :)

guy: WELL FINE THEN

this whole time while texting, guy’s been on his way to the chemist to get some medicine and getting on the bus to go to nawa’s house, all while smiling like a dork at his phone

he shows up at nawa’s house and doesn’t even knock, he just uses the key nawa gave him / knows where the spare key is

nawa: “i thought you didnt want to come”

guy: “well if we’re friends now then i guess ill take care of you”

and he takes care of him

and the entire time nawa teases him like “youre my best friend, guy” and “i love this friendship we have” etc etc and guy pretends to be grumpy about this

and after a while nawa says “you know i was joking right? i don’t want us to be friends”

“yeah of course I do” while hiding a smile

guy leans up and gives nawa a quick lil kiss, “i don’t want us to be friends either”

“i thought you didn’t want to get sick from me”

guy does a little shrug while smiling and says “worth it”

OR that entire thing but instead they’re living together / staying the night and the text stuff is in person and guy “storms out” when nawa says yes to them being friends

[pesterloglog]

Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley

Candy, page 15

GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

JOHN: oops???

ROXY: its fine gamz

ROXY: accidents happen

ROXY: um

ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today

ROXY: wow now that im up here its like

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i have no idea what to say

ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say

ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider

ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it

ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing

ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess

ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did

ROXY: so im just gonna say that

ROXY: im glad that he was in my life

ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

DAVE: hey guys

DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real

DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now

DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves

DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything

DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head

DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby

DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta

DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess

DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink

DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this

DAVE: i used to do that a lot

DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth

DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood

DAVE: not gonna go into details but

DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault

DAVE: not this specific version of him

DAVE: the one i grew up with was a

DAVE: a

DAVE: he was

DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead

DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful

DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid

DAVE: or

DAVE: raising a kid in general

DAVE: i was more like his disciple

DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever

DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with

DAVE: you know

DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person

DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it

DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works

DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c

DAVE: who knows with him

DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option

DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it

DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant

DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy

DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you

DAVE: well not intentionally i mean

DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro

DAVE: im over that

DAVE: like as much as you can get over it

DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire

DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like

DAVE: shit dude

DAVE: i feel great

DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??

DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life

DAVE: etc

DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk

DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane

DAVE: and like just chill with him

DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue

DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him

DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life

DAVE: which i did

DAVE: but despite that i

DAVE: i looked up to him

DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro

DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt

DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him

DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth

DAVE: but im glad he didnt

DAVE: he taught me about combat

DAVE: philosophy

DAVE: life

DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice

DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too

DAVE: so in the end

DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now

DAVE: but thats probably ok right

DAVE: like its ok

DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies

DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers

DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that

DAVE: but hes not

DAVE: so

DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that

ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give

ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point

ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void

ROXY: as many as we fuckin can

GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.

GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.

GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.

GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!

GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.

GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.

GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)

GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(

GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:

GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.

KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.

GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.

GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.

GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...

GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.

GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!

GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.

GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.

GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...

ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!

ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!

ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!

GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.

ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)

ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)

JAKE: Gulp! Uh...

ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)

JAKE: Oh... Okay.

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!

ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)

JOHN: uhh, hi guys!

DAVE: hey

KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.

JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.

JOHN: dave, are you ok?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well no

DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think

DAVE: so for once i think im having like

DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing

DAVE: which loops around back to being ok

DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively

JOHN: are you SURE?

KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.

JOHN: hmm.

JOHN: because i was thinking...

JOHN: do you... want me to go back?

DAVE: go

DAVE: back??

JOHN: with my retcon powers.

JOHN: i could go back and stop him.

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: JOHN!

JOHN: what!

KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?

JOHN: what!!!

DAVE: john

DAVE: come on what are my powers

JOHN: ummm... time travel?

DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea

JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.

JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?

DAVE: ehhh well actually

JOHN: but!

JOHN: if i retcon it...

JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!

JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.

DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.

JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are

DAVE: oh yeah be right there

JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??

KARKAT: YES! GOD!

KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!

KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!

JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby

JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes

JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???

KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!

DAVE: john

DAVE: i get what you were trying to do

DAVE: but

DAVE: its ok dude

DAVE: im ok

JOHN: that’s weird...

JOHN: it was working just the other day.

ROXY: lmao john its just me

ROXY: doin ok up there b?

JOHN: i’m fine!!!

JOHN: wait. b?

ROXY: yea like short for babe

ROXY: cuz ur my babe b

JOHN: oh, haha. right.

ROXY: is dave ok?

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: are YOU okay?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: yea

ROXY: actually

ROXY: im more than ok

ROXY: cause ive been thinking

JOHN: oh?

ROXY: about you n me

ROXY: and this

ROXY: hey john

ROXY: we should get hitched

JOHN: ummmmmm...

JOHN: um...

JOHN: ...what???

ROXY: um what WHAT?

ROXY: john cmon

ROXY: marry me

JOHN: like...

JOHN: right NOW?

ROXY: lmao totes

ROXY: were already at the church n everything

JOHN: o-oh my god.

JOHN: oh my god!

ROXY: john

JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??

ROXY: no LOL

ROXY: john u take everything so literally

ROXY: its fuckin adorbs

JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit

ROXY: and i gotta even all that out

ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment

ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest

ROXY: its cute as fuck and also

ROXY: i always know where i stand with you

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: sides this whole

ROXY: THING with dirk

ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal

ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever

ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love

JOHN: you...

JOHN: LOVE me??

ROXY: yea john i love you

ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you

JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.

JOHN: that’s a LOT.

ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn

ROXY: just know its on the table

JOHN: i...

JOHN: i...

JOHN: ok.

JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!

ROXY: ooo u want to do it??

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: er... i mean...

JOHN: um, yeah. that too.

JOHN: but i meant...

JOHN: about the getting married thing.

JOHN: let’s... do that!

JOHN: let’s totally get married!!

ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

[qualityrain]

I know like nothing abt persona but I wanna hear you talk about akechi goro. He's weird, I think I would like him.

this is like 2.3k words theres more to say about this silly guy but im out of juice also i did not proof read. also yk. p5 vanilla and p5 royal spoilers. also tw suicide mention

ok persona 5 royal is like a power fantasy game where you play as like a 16 yr old guy (who i will call akira), reform society and fight god. in the game akira gets wrongly accused of assault so he goes to tokyo for his probation and gains god powers and starts a group called the Phantom Thieves (PT) to change the hearts of shitty adults while gaining a found family in the process. so theres this thing called the metaverse and its like the cognition world where akira gets a persona which is a thing that represents your spirit of rebellion and is part of yourself and makes you mega cool and powerful. everybody can only have one persona except when god says so. so having more than one persona is a wildcard. akira and akechi are both wildcards. also theres his murderer in the metaverse causing mental shutdowns and is like killing people. 

Ok so akechi is a detective that is against the PT and thinks they are working outside the law and is supposed to catch them and becomes akiras friend after akira debates him on live television. akira knows that akechi is very much likely to be the murderer and akechi knows that akira is the PT leader. they become friends in the sense of the game mechanic called confidants and the higher the confidant level the closer you are to the character.  also akechi paraphrases hegel saying that advancement cannot occur without thesis and antithesis and thats their entire relationship in the whole game but im not getting into it because yk akechi

so like theyre using each other for information but not really because they dont talk abt the PT everytime they hang out so idk what they are doing. akechi thinks hes better than everyone and relies on himself so when akira is able to debate him hes like wow this is a worthy adversary!! also the stage play has a song abt this and its akechi going wow you are the one im waiting for, a worthy rival !! in my racing heart i wish for a competition with both our lives on the line. so yeah hes a little weirdo. 

rank 2 (rank 1 is obtained instantly) is akechi and akira playing billards together because akechi only has hobbies that are considered high class and for talking with adults. ive seen somebody say hes rude to akira until akira notices that akechi is playing with his right hand instead of his left (hes left handed) and this proves to akechi that akira is indeed a worthy rival and so hes not rude to him anymore. akechi is intentionally handicapping himself so he says when akira is able to beat him using his right hand he will go all out. 

rank 3 is akechi taking akira to a cafe to eat. akechi is a celebrity and also has a food blog. he doesnt have a favourite food and pretends to have a sweet tooth for the masses. he goes to places to eat for the popularity not the food. i think in jpn he mentions how his fans only like him on a surface level and how they will all leave him eventually. his fans see him and akira ruffles akechis hair and lends him his glasses to disguise himself. akechi is like haha i didnt expect that but you know hes SEETHING inside so much that afterwards when he calls akira on the phone hes like haha you caught me off guard!!!(actually really pissed off) you and i are the same height maybe you can wear my clothes and nobody will be able to tell the difference haha wont it be fun :))) i will dictate everything like the hair (RLLY MAD ABT THE HAIR RUFFLING) and clothes!! 

ok i saw somebody say that akechi is a homme fatale and yeah. thats a thing. he apparently flirts more in the lower ranks? but i cant tell because yk aroace 

persona 5 is a game about masks and personas (shocker) akira has 2 main personas he has. the cool joker personality in the metaverse and the shy low key akira in the real world. akechi is the same with 2 main personas. the detective prince and the heartless murderer. akiras mask in the real world is represented by his glasses and lending it to akechi is like this intimate gesture that akira does for nobody else which leads to…..

rank 4 is akechi bringing akira to rhe jazz club where its akechis favourite place. somewhere he feels the most at home at. he says he cant cook for his life. like ei levels of cooking. so he just microwaves food at home 😭😭😭😭😭😭. the song that plays here is very much associated with akechi its called “no more what ifs” and its most applicable to akechi in third semester but the gist of it is akechi can only be who he is and regrets none of his choices. which is actually rlly funny when u realise akechi is barely a person because almost every part of him is carefully curated to be as likeable as possible. also akechi has like no friends its just akira. clown.

rank 5 is akechi bringing akira to play a gun game to make a haha im practicing to take you out (MURDER) joke. akechi says he used to play hero for his mother as a child. put a pin in this. also i forgot to say akechi is the justice arcana in this game but ppl also say he is the justice arcana reversed. he asks akira whats his idea of a hero and if akira says “a hero is somebody who sticks to their justice” and akechi replies “but if nobody wants it then isnt it empty self righteousness”. so akechi kills people for his justice………….so hates himself a lot. 

rank 6 is akechi and akira going to the bathhouse where akechi says his mother was a prostitute and his father ditched her when he found out she was pregnant so he is a bastard child. his mother also commits suicide because its very taboo to have a child without being married which led akechi to believe that hes an unwanted child. and he wants revenge on his piece of shit father. also after his mother died he was passed from foster home to foster home. theres this video that explains the cultural significance of akechis character so here u go https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia8D664sof8&pp=ygUYYWtlY2hpIGphcGFuZXNlIHduYWx5c2lz  akechi realises he shares too much and disappears for the next 2 months. 

he comes back to blackmail the PTs to join them and to kill akira.

rank 7. the plan to kill akira has been finalised. he asks akira out to play billards again. this time he tells akira whats going to happen but in billards. he says smth like u cant just land the ball in the hole like that you have to be precise and indirect. And how its like the “perfect crime”. the mental shutdowns that akechi is doing. hes not caught and nobody knows. he says that the ball is not easily controlled that despite the player having the best intentions the ball might strike unrelated objects in the path. this is about akechi who needs to kill akira to fulfil his goal of revenge to get the justice for his mother. akira beats akechi in this game of billards and akira asks akechi to join the PT. akechi responds by asking akira, in japanese, to toss his friends away like garbage to join him. you can date any female character in this game btw and the pop up to signify a romantic choice pops up here. the whole i need to choose my choice carefully thing. akechi is the only male character with that same pop up. no romance route but take that as you will.  the correct reply to akechis question in jpn is “akechi, you are my rival” if you agree to drop everybody and join akechi, he will stop you. i cannot remember what he says exactly in the english option and its hard to find a video that accepts this but the gist is that akechi has an expectation for akira as his rival. akira has to stick to his principle. this is what akechi expects of akira and he wont let akira stray from those principles. dropping everybody and joining akechi is breaking those principles and akechi wont allow it. theres more to this but my brain wont work its from fhis tumblr post https://www.tumblr.com/vashtijoy/725074969636274176/why-not-join-me-instead-akechis-invitation its like. akechi wanting an equal relationship with akira and not being co conspirators with a power imbalance

rank 8. akechi pulls a real ass gun on akira in the metaverse. they duel it out. akira wins. akechi is pissed. he hates that akira is catching up to him and could even be better rhan him. he tells akira. to be entirely honest with you. i hate you. your deft handling of your unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me- all of these irritate me….you’re the one person i refuse to lose too. and then he throws his glove at akira as physical evidence of them having a future duel. akira has gone through shit and has come out better than akechi. theyve both been screwed over by adults they both have masks but akira is the one with friends and everybody loves him while akechi is only loved when hes lying. to akechi its unfair and akira shows akechi that there is another way he couldve gotten revenge in a way without hurting others but he didnt know until hes in too deep and now he cant stop. 

akechi shoots fake akira in the head and hes silly about it. hes happy because he wins their duel but is also disappointed because he expected more of akira and hes kinda fucked up from it because he shot and killed his only friend and the first time he kills somebody irl but yk hes dealing with it (having a breakdown on main 

rank 9. akechi wishes he met akira earlier. that perhaps it would undoom him.

rank 10. the breakdown. akechi wants to be loved. at his core. the moment his mother died he internalised that he was unwanted and unloved and fakes his entire personality and everything so people would love him but its all fake and hes still feeling like hes better off dead. he saves the PT but doesnt save himself even when he can because he thinks he doesnt deserve to live. without his revenge akechi has nothing and it was his drive to continue living ever since he was a child theres nothing else he has to live for until akira gets rank 10 with him and akechi learns the ability endure to survive. its akira telling akechi. that akechi still has to keep to his promise of a second duel to akira that shows akechi that somebody cares and wants him around that he gains the will to survive. 

so akechi and akira are destined to be enemies by god and akechi was specifically chosen to represent humanity’s destruction but akira shoots god in the face so thats sorted out

third semester your therapist becomes god and now you’re in a reality where there is no pain. akechi takes akiras place in prison and gets released and hes really mad about it because he thinks he deserves punishment and everything bad to happen to him because he killed people. he joins the PT to defeat your therapist now god because akechi doesnt want to be manipulated ever again (see: him being manipulated his entire life) hes really unhinged in battle in third sem but yk. sillyguy things. akechi is less happy less fake more angry more asshole more tired in third semester. he drops most of the detective prince mask with the PT but drops it completely with akira. akechi knows that he is dead and is intentionally acting like a mega bitch to make everybody not care about him. your therapist is like wow akira i saw akechi die and brought him back to life for you <333 and akechi makes akira kill him <33333333 and doesnt expect akira to hesitate because akechi thinks that hes nothing to akira compared to everybody else <333 he still thinks that hes unloved <333333333333333 

so yeah akechi dies. wow end of game. except not (i pull out the red string) (joke) the true ending cutscene we see akechi walk past akiras train so hes still alive if hes rank 10 w joker 

ok now other silly things. akechi eats like one apple for lunch thats it. akechi wears sweater vests to match a previous famous detective from persona 4 (naoto!!). akechi cycles and does bouldering and his bicycle is not owned by him because everything he has is owned by his piece of shit father <3333 he has like 0 social skills he constantly tells akira hes sweaty. one day he sees akira on the train and doesnt even say hi just starts talking. akira says one (1) word and akechi is like wow what an eloquent response its rhe perfecr response its concise and keeps the conversation gojng you’re so amazing!!! akechi has two personas that awakened at the same time to show how conflicted he is with himself. one of his unused voicelines to the PT is asking what mask do they want him to wear. another unused voiceline is him saying my persona craves prey like the edgy kid he is. he the only character who insists on playing 701 darts which is the longest and hardest darts and intentionally shoots in a way that always ends on akiras turn so you have to get it right or else you lose everything. asshole. Unused darts dialogue where akira says “go go goro san” and akechi misses the dart and loses. silliest guy in persona 5 royal. 

EDIT: in one of the mangas akechi buys akira a bigass uncooked fish as like a gift or smth because he didnt know what to get. clown. clown. when u talk to akechi in game he sometimes says oh im waiting for somebody (LIE because he has NO FRIENDS) silliest guy

[calumhoodgoss]

I’ve had thoughts that the relationship was one sided like obviously she posted everything they could have done and the Australia trips but tbh that’s nothing big for an adult relationship so that’s mediocre and I keep saying she’s never been on any of his public profiles only in the comments like the rest of his hoes 😂😂🫣 I believe they were hookups at first and she obviously caught feelings and he tagged along and eventually liked her but got tired of the relationship I think and they mutually ended things or took a break 🤷‍♀️ maybe if he posted more we could get a better view of him in a relationship but from what she posts he does bare minimum to obtain his relationship or just lets the girl tag along and that’s crazy . Also him being the LAST to post her on her BIRTHDAY wow literally he didn’t lost her till 10-11pm at night and everyone including his sister posted her earlier that day !

hmmm i dont know if we can deduce that much about the nature of their relationship from what shes posted. you could very well be right but im just not sure if you can get that from her posts tbh

for instance, ive been dating my bf for coming on 10yrs and he only has 1 photo of me on his insta lol (granted it was posted 5 years ago and he hasnt posted anything since). i get that socials can be a great insight into a relationship but for someone whos a bit more reserved, like cal who hardly posts anything anyway, i cant say the lack of her from his insta is a real sign tbh

also, it is undoubtedly his work insta; id be truly shocked if he didnt have a private account with some alias that he actually posts on for real life friends etc. so whether hed want to post his relationships on there could also be crossing that work life boundary for him and we've heard him talk about how hes worked hard to build that boundary in recent years. so i dont really think that what he doesnt post says much

on the other hand thoughhhh what he DOES post speaks VOLUMES. If hes so intentional and selective with what he shares, then whatever we do see is definitely not an accident. like him being the last to post for her bday - i dont think he waited to post intentionally per say, but forgetting to post until literally the end of the day 👀👀👀 youre so right that is so weird to me. or him posting a whole carousel of different photos of his face and photos of him with his friends and sister without her when people are speculating theyre not together 🤭🤭🤭

[plantley]

ive had a bit of crush on my guy friend for a few months but ive been basically ignoring it and brushing it off as the wires are crossed and i dont actually like him, its only that he's one of my only guy friends and that i trust him so much, not a crush. and i cant have a crush on him because i dont date friends as a rule because it ruins the friendship and friend group. and theres no way he liked me too.

we had a fourth of july party, and especially towards the end of the night i thought there might be a little something. my legs were on him like kinda in his lap bc the couch was crowded. we were talking a lot, and at one point he went to grab my sunglasses from hanging on my tank top and like basically right between my boobs so like kinda intimate. but also literally all of our friend group is quite touchy and affectionate we everybody and we were drunk, so like none of that really was for sure that he liked me, but it felt different.

but the next week at trivia, he talked about dating apps or a girl he was talking to, so i took that as he obviously didn't like me and it was nothing because he was interested in other girls not me. so like id literally encourage him to get like the waitress' number and gave tips on talking to girls. like a month ago, my car broke and one week my friend allison gave me a ride and the 2 weeks after that max did, and its out of the way for both but i was like wow i have such good friends.

this saturday was allison's birthday party, and max said he was going to drive the 45 to pick me up and then 45 back to his and allisons place. and again thought, wow i have good friends and allison would have been sad if i couldnt be at her party. we all played beer pong, drinking games, just all hanging out and having a good time with everyone. i was crushing on max and was basically trying to see if itd be like last party and maybe there was something. i sat by him in our circle intentionally and kinda being more touchy than normal. but nothing either of us were doing were like obviously out of character and like clearly flirting.

part way thought the night, like 11 or 12, allison pulled me into her room and said "omg i just had an REVELATION! you and max need to hookup, tonight. yall have cute chemistry and now hookup and make it happen" and i was flabbergasted! like she knows my hard stance on "its a bad idea to date friends" so i tried arguing and like just making shocked stuttering noises, and before i could protest so much she grabbed me and pulled me back out to the party right by max, and she was smug like just do it.

but that had me thinking maybe its all in my head and like there is something there and maybe max likes me too. like if allison sees enough that she'd say that, its gotta be something. i kept acting the same way i was all night and now was just overthinking him even more.

towards the end of the night, like 2 or 3, some people went home, some were getting ready for bed, or just in smaller groups to talk in and it was just me and max talking. i was planning on just crash on the couch with julia, like normal, but by this point it definitely felt like there was something and he wanted to tell me but he couldnt. after a bit, he nervously asked if i wanted to be like cuddle buddies for the night and i said sure. we put on buffy the vampire slayer and cuddled for a bit but pretty quickly facing each other and having a real talk.

some of the details are a blur, but he was saying how he didnt want to pressure anthing or ruin our friendship, etc etc and hes fine with whatever i want and hes just so happy to be holding me and has wanted this for so long. i was like absolutely shocked still because i couldnt believe he liked me too and had for a while. he was so absolutely so sweet, but was so scared that its going to ruin things and i completely loose him as a friend but i was 100% comfortable and even leaned in to kiss him first and it was off from there. after kissing me, he said “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that”. we kissed and cuddled the whole night and he was so fucking hot. he straight up tossed me to the other side of the bed. omg.

it was so sweet. the next morning we still were able to banter and tease each other. we did have to walk out the room and talk to all of our friends just knowing we got together and were dying for info, but i still didnt know what i entirely thought and didnt want to kiss and tell. i walked out to the patio with all the girls and they excitedly asked "omg what happened, SPILL" and i said "nothing happened, okay not nothing happened, something happened, just not everything", but i did tell them it was just like a sweet and wholesome night. like he seems to like me so much and has been just waiting to let me know and he said something like "you had to have felt something at the 4th of july party too" so it wasnt just in my head and he felt that too, and i would love to date him like proper bf/gf but i am so scared ill lose him and ruin the friend group and everything is going to go wrong.

but he drove me back home and we got dunkin on our way, and said he was going to take me to work too but i was like no way itll take me like 20 min to get ready, ill just get an uber. and he was like, nope i have nothing else to do, ill wait and im dropping you off. so i showered and got ready. i had to cover a hickey, and it was my first one bc i always say dont give me a hickey but he gave me a little one anyway. when i came back out to the car i gave him a hard time that he's not allowed to give me hickies bc im simply not good enough at makeup to cover them up, and he joked that its not worst than my birthmark on the other side of my neck.

he dropped me off right in front of my work and i gave him a kiss goodbye and he said something and i said "youre too sweet". i was reeling my entire shift trying to pros/cons whether its a good idea to pursue this. on my pros/cons list, at first all i wrote under both columns "its max". i see my therapist on wednesday and hopefully she can help me sort through this. i finished the pros/cons and both sides are pretty full. i think next time we see each other, well have a real talk about this and i think i want to like a trial period and like try going on a proper date and couple-ly things and if that goes well then actually date officially. i want to take the romantic mushy things slow so we have time to navigate. and have an easy out/get out of jail free card at any point so we dont feel stuck and call it off if things feel weird or mess with the friend group or arent compatible, etc.

honestly in hindsight, some things kinda add up that it was probably him liking me not just normal friends. also im pretty sure he'd totally told allison he like me and theyre in cahoots. i want this so bad, but im so scared to lose him. ugh i am loosing my mind over this, and being away from him and having to think if this is going to ruin everything is putting my stomach in loop. it feels so natural with him. this feels so cliche and sweet that its like something out of a sitcom.

like thinking about it, we make a lot of sense together. both have been through fucked up shit and can relate and joke about it with each other. were outdoorsy and talk about moving out into the middle of the woods. we are extraverted but if we run out of social battery were totally done. hes talked so sweetly about wanting a wife and doing everything he can to love and protect her and make her happy, its so precious. hes truly such a sweetheart. this is gonna kill me

[wild666child]

Denies that it is his writing. Has left the important parts intentionally blank to cover his ass. Never owned a motorbike for the whole time ive known him. Pretty fresh piece of paper as well if you ask me... So, the back story to this is that we had a fight one day because he left me at Coles and he drove back home without me. Im mad because 1) he didnt say he was leaving and for 2) why leave without me?

the fight started with me confronting him, walking in the door as he was there ironing clothes as if he had done not a damn thing wrong. I immediately expect a reason to why he left me there and inconveniently put me out of pocket by having to get an uber back and better yet, come back with the sausage roll we intended to buy for his father. He got pretty mean with words, but long story short it made me want to leave his ass again because the words from his mouth now are getting nasty, this is that point where he cant stop and theres no negotiation when he is in this mood. No apology is warranted. I packed, I was dropped to my car, and the relationship was said and done. I came back for my motorbike the next morning, to my suprise it was gone. I asked his parents incase they moved it inside safely while I wasnt there, his dad says that it should be where I've always kept it. Now its both of us shocked that its not there. How is it that I break up with JB the day before my bike goes missing? Well, as per usual, he ignored me for 2 days, took his sim card out, put another one in that for some reason, for every number I had of his, believe it or not, I had texted this number whilst in our 2-day-breakup period and he was getting my messages... announced my bike was missing - no reply. I call a mutual friend, she relays the message, now hes moving mountains because he says "its making him look like he did it", so his game plan is to find it, get it back to me, and hes off the hook? Well that he did, but off the hook? Well, only until I found the above deed of sale of a "motorbike". Anyways back to how I got my bike back.,,

I was informed about him going to a mutual friends house and so I knew if I wanted to confront him, I'd have to get over there at the same time hes there and get this off my chest. What do I do? I run over there, my uber pulls up behind his friends car that clearly drove him there and JB is already inside. I head inside, there he is coming down the stairs on his way out. He is shocked! There were no words. Oh but have I got words! Immediately, I say so do you know where my bike is? What, I break up with you and then the same night or next day my bike goes missing..? He then tells me the grand story how he saw my bike and hes already punched some guy who wouldnt tell him x-y-z etc.. hes going to go and get it now, and will bring it back to me.. wow. My hero. So, I went to work, I waited, he calls, heres the good news, my bike is with him and he wants to drop it off. Now, im feeling like I OWE him.. Now im feeling thankful that he went out of his way, tracked down my bike, punched some guy for me for the x-y-z info and my bike is on its way to me! WHO NEEDS THE POLICE? Police couldnt do this quicker than JB, I hit the jackpot! Bike arrived at work, I say thanks to the mate who drove him to where I confronted him, I say thanks to JB, I then buy some fairy dust coz I'd call it a celebration and then it was just another day in paradise after that. Fuck, if only I knew what I knew now. I dont know the full details still, but if I found this, im going to assume that the bike was never stolen, oh wait no it was stolen, but I THINK it was stolen by JB. This piece of paper in JB'S handwriting is pretty assuring that he stole my bike, had intention to sell what isnt his, and to do this all under my own nose. Now that we are here, writing this blog, have I confronted about the deed of sale I found? Yes. His response, thats not his writing. I can't keep up guys. Someone slap the shit out of me.

[cemetery14]

each time akashi got push back he immediately snapped he couldn't take the thought of failing even once

im not saying this is akashi being bad or anything, to me it just shows how truly vulnerable he is and how NO one in his life has noticed this

i remember when akashi was literally non responsive on the bench just staring at nothing after realizing he might lose, his coach said something to the degree of "wow i didnt know how sensitive he was, is one hit all it takes" and its like WOW did no one realize this? really? he said told his teammates that he would cut out his eye and give it to them if they lost, was no one concerned??

than i come to the sad truth that this is probably not just an over sight but everyone intentionally ignoring it

what are you gonna do? send him to therapy? he cant go to therapy! he needs to play basketball and win our games!

make him take a break or drop some responsibilities? he cant take a break! hes so efficient!

and he gets straight As! depressed people dont get straight As so its probably fine : )

the rage i feel thinking about the adults in akashis life

@deargravity I'm running out of things to say about this. But I have the agar jelly and I need to use it.

@active-mind-15 We need to expose Akashi rn before this gets out of hand.

[itsays]

at first i was mad at somchai for even suggesting lin go see her abusive mother but honestly good. it was a wake up call